The Free will of Kyon
by Darksworn
Summary: Haruhi stay's happy at the expense of Kyon's free will but now he has a chanes to take it back and once again make his own choices without the world blowing up. Now he just needs to figure out how and what's Ryoko doing back and why is she being nice..er
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I honestly don't know what possessed me to start writing this one but the idea came to me I just couldn't pass it up. I guess if I had to blame anyone I would blame the Haruhi Suzumiya box set that I have. I got the urge to watch it one day and then I got to thinking what would it be like if Kyon had a conversation with the real God and was given a mission by God himself. I mean really that would have to be a very interesting conversation and what kind of mission would God give him anyways, I mean it's a real head scratcher. And the more I thought about it the more I started thinking that, hey this would make good fanfic and of course whenever I started thinking that I was on the episode where Ryoko Asakura tried to kill Kyon. And then I started thinking I wonder if there's any fanfic's involving those two so I looked it up and I'm sad to say that I was severely disappointed in the low number of hits that actually came up and the ones that did come up were either too short or they just weren't really that good. I mean I may be the only one who actually sees the potential that this pairing has (and I know I am not) but I would at least like to see someone run with it so I decided that I was going to be the guy who runs with it. Whether it sucks or not I have a strong desire to write this fic now (despite the fact that I'm still trying to write one up in the games section) but I would like to see if I can get anywhere with this as well as see what everybody else thinks. So in case you haven't figured it out yet the pairing for this fic is going to be KyonXRyoko so please don't bite my head off about this truth be told I'm not a big fan of Haruhi's character or the fact that Kyon practically has no free will whatsoever when it comes to dealing with her because his choices could likely end up destroying the world. Everybody's entitled to their own opinion on this site and I just don't like the spoiled, selfish, self-centered, little bitch I mean I was practically cheering Kyon on when the SOS brigade was filming their movie for the culture Festival I was practically begging in front of the screen for him to smack her but I think that's enough ranting for now let's get this ball rolling.

Chapter 1: I am God

_**It doesn't matter who you are the fact is everybody at least once in their life wishes they can go back in time and undo something from their past whether it was words spoken or actions taken it's pretty much in human nature for us to wonder what could have been versus what is. And I am no exception I'm pretty sure I've said this at least once before, maybe even twice but if you had told me a year ago that once I got into high school that I would be constantly hanging out on a daily basis with an alien, a time traveler, an Esper, and in over eccentric girl with godlike powers that she is completely unaware of. As well as the fact that I would have to be working with said alien, Esper, and time traveler, in a pathetic attempt to keep said girl with godlike powers from finding out about her powers or risk having the world utterly destroyed or worse I probably would've laughed in your face. The problem with that now is that you do one year too late because now I am currently living in a rotating headache of spiraling proportions. It's almost like every day I find myself in a new situation to keep a completely unsatisfiable girl satisfied with the world around her but each attempt is becoming harder and harder even my supernatural partners in crime are starting to believe even my words can't satisfy her anymore. They all seem to be under the false impression that I'm going to be falling madly in love with this girl, and maybe I would've a long time ago but I honestly can't even see that happening in my imagination not any more at least. So the only thing we can do is sit back and watch as the world slowly gets rewritten to fit the needs of a girl who is not satisfied by anything. We must've been going along like that for about a week until fate decides to throw me a completely different curveball and nail me right in the face. Because I can guarantee you that if somebody walked up to me the other day and told me that I will be sitting in a café that the SOS brigade frequently visits drinking tea with the one and only God himself, that's right I said God as in the Christianity version of God straight from the big book of divine beings I probably more than likely would've laughed in your face I mean I thought I always knew who God was I mean I was practically babysitting her. Despite the fact that I don't necessarily believe she is God but that doesn't change the fact that sitting right in front of me ever so calmly sipping from his teacup was the real God I mean he doesn't look like what you'd imagine God to look like I really looks more like a homeless man in desperate need for a bath and shave. At first I didn't believe him but whenever he started telling me things about myself that nobody else could possibly know it's not like I could argue I mean it's not like my life is already filled to the brim with enough weirdness as it is but when the God of a religion that you don't entirely believe in appears before you. You begin to go through a minor culture shock and a bit of a hyperventilating spell**_.

30 min. ago a random street

Kyon is walking home after a very long brigade meeting.

_**Damn that Haruhi if it's not one thing with her it's another if she wants something exciting to happen then maybe she should stop being so unrealistic about things. I mean it's not like walking around the town as many times as we done it has ever yielded any results, but now she's saying that she wants us to spend what little free time she allows us to have to find strange and interesting things for the brigade to investigate. There's just no pleasing that girl maybe I'll play sick tomorrow and not come to school for the next few days that will probably give her time to calm down….on second thought she'll probably just come after me regardless. Go figure I'm not even safe in my own home.**_

Kyon hears a commotion down an alleyway and turns to see some guys beating on an old man.

"Hey where you think you're doing?! Leave him alone!"

Kyon runs down the alley, the guys beating on the old man see him and run the other way.

"Damn punks who do they think they are picking on someone who can't fight them off?"

Kyon turns to the old man and helps him up.

"Hey mister you going to be okay I can take you to the hospital if you want?"

The old man looks at Kyon with kind eyes.

"No I'm all right Kyon that little squabble was only for the sake of appearances. You are indeed a truly good person to come to my aid so quickly despite being outnumbered and outsized I always did like that about your particular design, you're always willing to help even if you do complain a lot in the process. But you never hesitate to jump in when you know something is wrong and needs to be righted."

Kyon looks at the old man with a raised eyebrow.

"Well I'm not really that nice a guy and what was I supposed to do just let them keep beating on… wait a minute… how do you know that name? Only my friends know my nickname and call me that despite how much I hate it and how do you know about me and what did you mean by my particular design?"

The old man just smiles back at Kyon.

"Well I'm supposed to know everything about you Kyon I am the one that created you after all… however I will say that maybe I was a bit hasty when I suggested your name to your parents it really doesn't suit you."

Kyon was now staring at the old man as if he had grown a second head.

"Who… who are you?"

The old man gestures to himself as if presenting himself to an audience.

"I am God"

Back at the cafe present time.

_**And that ladies and gentlemen is how I found myself here, when he told me he was God I could've sworn I heard the world shatter but that was just the sound of my reason completely shattering and going straight down the drain. I wasn't even aware that I had any more reason left I was so positive the SOS brigade had drained it all from me completely but I was wrong and this man sitting in front of me claiming to be God of all people….or divine beings whatever you want to call it was the reason for it. After he told me he was God of course I would want proof to see if she was telling the truth so when he told me the exact date, time, and place I develop my fetish for pony tails I had no other choice but to believe him because that was a little something that I share with no one except for Haruhi but she thought that was a dream anyway so I was in the clear with that one. But I was still no closer to breaking the awkward silence between me and this old man he was the one who suggested that we come here he said it might help me relax a little bit but so far the only thing I've been doing is staring stupidly down at my cup of tea. I mean how do you start a conversation with God what do you ask him, what is the meaning of life?….na to cliché besides I'm sure he gets that a lot and there's no real guarantee that he will actually answer me.**_

God sips his tea and looks at Kyon.

"Relax Kyon I'm not going to bite you I just want to have a little chat."

Kyon looks up from his tea.

"Sorry but it's not every day that you just sit down and talk with God so forgive me if I seem a little…on edge... Yeah that sounds about right...on edge."

God chuckles.

"ha ha this coming from the young man who spends his days in the company of an alien, an Esper, a time traveler, and a semi-divine being whose powers are quite similar to my own but I guess I can see where you're coming from I very rarely talk to people in this world anymore….. Well…not directly anyway."

"If you understand why I feel nervous about this then why haven't you made an attempt to make me feel more comfortable?"

God smiles halfheartedly at Kyon

"I don't see why I should I would like to think that I'm pretty easy to talk to"

"Well yeah but..."

Kyon fidgets nervously

"I don't exactly follow the religion that you're based on, I feel like a scientist at a court trial who's been accused of being a heretic, with the jury and judge who are all religious fanatics. For all I know you could probably smite me down right here any second if the stories I've heard about you are true."

God laughs softly at kyon's example.

"That's quite an accurate statement but I assure you I'm not going to smite you I haven't done anything like that a long time. And I would like to think that I'm on good terms with Buddha we play golf every Wednesday but like I said I'm only here to talk and nothing more after this if things go will we may never meet again until your time for judgment comes, which is quite a ways away I can assure you."

Kyon was trying desperately to ignore that comment about Buddha and the comment about his day of judgment so instead decided to get straight to the point.

"Well I'm glad to see you have a sense of humor at least but if you know as much about me as you claim, then you should also know that I get a very big headache when I deal with situations like this so I have to ask what is it exactly you want to talk about."

God looks at Kyon quietly while he silently sips his tea as if you were contemplating his next response with a small sigh he sipped his tea cup down and look at kyon with a gentle expression.

"Tell me Kyon…. How is Haruhi doing these days?"

Kyon narrows his eyes

"Shouldn't you already know that she's even more eccentric than usual and frankly it's starting to drive me nuts? Why would you ask me about something that you should already know the answer to?"

"Because I want to hear it from you and now that I have I must say that is too bad now that I know I'm not the only one who sees this as a true problem. I may be forced to take action sooner than I expected but I guess it couldn't be helped given the type of person that she is it was only a matter of time."

"What do you mean…? Are you saying you expected this to happen….that sooner or later she would just give up on the world altogether?"

"Well that's only half of it truth be told I never expected that I would have to intervene in this personally so soon…. Honestly…. The girl has done nothing but baffle me since the day I created her. I give her every single scenario in order to satisfy her and to assure her that there are something's in this universe that are worth keeping it the same for but it seems she wants more. This girl is so troublesome but I find that to be one of her charming points."

"I don't think I'd use the word charming….annoying sounds more appropriate."

"Well that's the beauty of the human race everyone has their own opinion about certain things. But it also brings me to the reason why I called you here today Kyon."

Kyon straightens himself up at that statement

"So there is a reason why you're talking with me if that's so then what do you need I mean I honestly don't know what I could do to be of any assistance to the God Almighty but I'll do what I can."

"Well I'm glad to hear that but weather you do this is your choice alone which is why I will only ask for a yes or no."

God closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath while he exhaled slowly he opens his eyes again and looks directly into Kyon's.

"Kyon I want you to be the new Adam of this world."

"…..hu?"

Kyon stares at God with his mouth agape.

"The last hope for humanity, the harbinger of the future of your own race, the first male in a new species to inhabit the world, a new beginning when faced with an uncertain end, Adam the first, and I want you to be him Kyon."

Kyon sat there taking in all the words and their confusing glory.

"I'm sorry but I don't think you heard me the first time so I'll say it again….hu?"

God leaned back in his seat and stroked his bearded chin thoughtfully.

"Well I think it might be better if I explained the current situation at least that way you might better understand exactly what it is I'm asking you."

_**Yes please do by all means I don't think the situation can get anymore more confusing than it already is**_.

"Well I guess I'll start from the beginning it all started sometime after the first Adam and Eve were cast out of the garden of Eden that I had created for them my first true experiment with life forms much more capable of free thought than anything else than I had ever created. And to test whether or not my experiment will be a failure or a success I gave them both one simple order the order in which both of them failed to follow Eve was the first to disobey and soon tempted Adam himself in all my rage at their disobedience I quickly had them removed from Eden. It was not until later after I had cast them out that I learned that my son was responsible for tempting Eve the way he did with this knowledge in hand I realized what I had created, individuals with the power to choose to obey or disobey I have given my newest and greatest creation the power of free will my greatest success was also my greatest failure."

Kyon listened to God's words intently not understanding what he was getting at but listened none the less.

"Free will was your greatest success and your greatest failure? I guess I can see why with mankind's ability to choose what they want to do and what they don't want to do it pretty much assures that there are people out there who are going to make bad choices as well as people who were going to make good ones. But I don't think it should be considered a failure if anything we learn from our mistakes and those of future generations learn from them as well if anything it's a learning process. We learn from others mistakes so we would know not to repeat them."

"Which is why it is my greatest success but also my greatest failure with the power to choose mankind can easily make the right choice but there are others out there who will just as easily make the wrong choice this causes the world to be filled with strife as well as hope I have watched from a distance since the beginning as my greatest creation did things to help move itself along but at the same time do things that end up causing pain and suffering to others, and sometimes even themselves. It got so bad at one point I feared for the safety of their souls and I knew something needed to be done to save them I believe you already know the story."

_**I couldn't do anything except nod my head that last statement I don't think there was anyone in the world who didn't know the story of Jesus Christ even if you didn't exactly follow the religion it still wasn't the type of story that one could forget easily even if you did just hear it once.**_

"But this is not about the past this is about the future after I cast Adam and Eve out of Eden I made contact with my son from within his prison he willingly admitted that he was the one who tempted Eve who in turn tempted Adam. He said it was to show me that he was not the only one of my creations, of my children who could willingly disobey me as much as it pained me to admit it I knew he was right it was at that time he made a wager with me a small deal which even now I regret ever making. The deal was that when mankind reached a certain stage in evolution in which the numbers were great, and their advancements in technology were minimal that I would designate one human every generation to possess a portion of my power this human would go through it's life unaware of its abilities and every now and again would make ever so slight changes to the world around it and when it died the power which I granted it will be moved on to the next successor to where the process would be repeated again. The deal was quite simple if the human who was granted a portion of my powers were to ever change the world so greatly that it would not only re-create the world as a whole, but the very fabric of space and time itself. If the chosen human ever did this it would signify that the world that I had created for all the races of the universe was imperfect and if this was ever proven my son would be released from his prison and allowed to return to the heavens as if on parole for good behavior. That is not something I can allow not while I can still do something about the current situation."

_**To say I was shocked about this new revelation would probably be an understatement I couldn't believe what I was hearing that Haruhi and her unusual powers were the result of a deal made between God and the devil and if what he's saying is true then that means…. The devil was close to winning this bet but still I had to ask that question.**_

"Wait a minute is it really a bad thing for your son returned to his place in heaven I mean yes the world would be re-created but if all he wants is to return to his place in heaven is it really such a bad thing I mean it doesn't sound that way it's not like he's asking the rule universe or anything."

"No…. Not directly anyways….he knows the repercussions of what would happen if I was proven wrong he knows that me as God being proven wrong cannot happen. Because if I was ever to be proven wrong my very existence would cease to be I am the one who created this universe and all others like it my word is always right my decisions always just if I were to be proven wrong my existence my power would cease to be. This in turn would give my son the opening that he is looking for no other that was ever created in the realm of heaven has ever matched his power it took four of his five brothers just to bring him down during his rebellion in heaven and even then he still had so much power left I fear that if I were not there even now there would be no one to challenge him without my voice to back Michael or his brothers power they will not defeat him a second time. And besides…..He is still in trouble for his rebellion in heaven to begin with his punishment is to rule over hell as its jailer I am still his father after all I must see to it that he's punished properly."

_**Being put in charge of hell as punishment? I guess I can see how that could be considered a punishment makes me glad I wasn't born an angel.**_

"Okay I get that much so you can be proven wrong or otherwise your existence will cease to be the very fabric of the universe would cave on itself. But so far there have been lots of situations in which Haruhi has almost change the universe and you haven't stepped in to stop them so why come here now?"

"All those other times I knew that you and your friends could stop her bring her back down to reality despite the fact that she has ability's similar to my own she is still a young girl with rationality in her mind she has a good sense of what things should be like, versus what things can be like. She knows that there is no way that ,aliens ,time travelers ,and Espers can't exist it's just not rational but that doesn't stop her from wanting them to exist which is why they do…unbeknownst to her course."

"Hold on right there, these things only exists because of Haruhi she wished for them to exist three years ago and when she did they all came into existence so in a way you've already lost the bet because she changes the world."

"Yes she changed it but it is only a minor change because the things that she has brought into this world are not beyond the scope of reality. Time travelers for instance who's to say that somewhere along the line that human beings will not come up with a way to travel back and forward through time? You've already seen it yourself that theory that Haruhi created the one that the boy who lives next to her took a look at, it is more than likely that he is the one who created the form of time travel that the current time travelers you associate yourself with are using. Then there's the Espers the abilities they possess are limited now but who's to say that somewhere down the line human beings will not evolve to the point to where they themselves possess such abilities? Or that every human in the world right now may have these abilities but they just don't possess the potential to unlock them. Or even aliens who's to say that my experiment stopped with the creation of the human race itself? Maybe I created thousands of Adam's and Eve's, each one a different type of humanoid species who in turn are located on different planets that could support life throughout the solar systems and in every galaxy across every dimension, in every universe. So you see the things she's asked for are not beyond the scope of reality because the reality of it all is that each of these things truly does exist but the human race that exist here on this planet right now does not currently perceive any of them as reality because there is no true evidence to support that any of them exist at least to public knowledge so there's nothing solid here to support the claim that they do exist."

"Okay I guess I can see were you are coming from it's not that big of a change because she hasn't drastically changed the world beyond the scope of what is real and what isn't. But your God shouldn't you already know that these things exist or the fact that they will exist at some point. Why are you talking like you don't know for certain?"

God tilts his head to the side in a confused manner.

"What are you talking about I'm just an old man if I start talking about how ,aliens ,Esper's, and time travelers are real people will start thinking that I'm going senile."

"Please don't joke like that when your joke doesn't sound like a joke especially with that face."

Kyon face-palms

"Alright I get it you're not at liberty to say exactly what is real and what isn't to me you're just the messenger at this point. But I don't see what any of this has to do with Haruhi or myself couldn't you just stop her from changing the universe if we are not able to."

"I could but there will be no point in doing so besides….I cannot directly interfere with her….being God I am freely able to manipulate anything I desire around me….but there is one thing that I have no power over and that is free will."

Kyon eyes widened slightly for second but then a narrow grin appeared on his face as a sudden realization dawned on him.

"Your greatest success and your greatest failure, you can't directly interfere because in the end it's still Haruhi's decision. It's not like you can just tell her to make a certain decision because the moment she finds out she has these abilities she more than likely will change the world. And if I know her as well as I think I do she wouldn't listen anyways even if the universe is at stake. But I still don't see what this has to do with me... Wait… don't tell you what me to take one for the team and convince her somehow that this universe is worth living in without changing anything and the only way to do that is to…. Start…seeing her... Am I right?"

_**I cringed a bit that last part I was almost certain I was on my way to being ordered by an all-powerful God to walk into a relationship and pretend that I love someone that I really don't just for the sake of the universe…. While I was willing to make that kind of sacrifice if it meant the safety of the universe I was actually quite surprised when God started chuckling just a little bit….now I was really confused.**_

"I'm not going to ask you to do something you don't want to do Kyon what I have in mind is something a bit more simple and in a way if this plan works it will keep Haruhi from trying to change the universe in the future. And if this all plays out as well as I think it will, it will also give you back your free will…. Well I mean you already have free will you just simply can't exercise it right now because your decisions will probably anger her enough to change reality."

"Okay I'm listening what exactly is it you want me to do?"

_**To say I was anxious was probably incorrect when he mentioned that I would be able to make decisions on my own again without invoking the wrath of Haruhi I practically wanted to pounce on the opportunity.**_

"As I said I want you to be the new Adam."

_**There it was again that phrase I didn't understand so I think I'll just use the wording that I used before.**_

"…..hu?"

"Ha ha let me explain when I'm asking you to be the new Adam I'm asking you to take on his role. When I created Adam I taught him everything he needed to know about Eden, about survival, about living, his nature, as well as what responsibilities were expected of him and then I created Eve and when I presented her to Adam I told him it would be his responsibility to teach her just as I had taught him."

"Wait hold on are you telling me you're going to be sending an Eve to this world just so I can teach her things about this world?"

"Of course not….you're going to choose your own Eve."

"What...Hold up a minute I don't understand I'm going to choose my own Eve? How exactly does that work do I just grab some random girl on the street and say hey how would you like to learn things about the world that you already know?"

"Of course not….not Just any random woman will do to fit the part of Eve Kyon. When I created Eve she knew nothing, she understood nothing, she was nothing, the only thing in her world when she was born was myself and Adam she knew me as her father, and Adam as her lover but she did not understand the concept behind those two phrases. She was just like Adam when he was first created but he had me there to guide him to teach him and when I made Eve I wanted to give Adam the chance to teach, to guide her to show her and soon the more she learned the more emotion she expressed, the more she understood the feelings inside of her, the more human she became. So you see Kyon your Eve can't be just some random woman….no this woman needs to be a clean slate she needs to know nothing of the world around her someone who understands little about what she interacts with someone you can teach."

"I still don't quite understand there's not really a woman like that anywhere in the world I mean what kind of woman is there in the world that doesn't understand the things that are going on around her you know besides to women they lock up in the asylums. Can such a human woman even exist it seems highly unlikely."

"Whoever said she had to be a human?" God turned his head toward a table across the café and nods to kyon at the waitress taking the orders of the customers. "I am sure you are familiar with Ms. Kimidori's nature?"

_**Across the café Ms. Kimidori one of the humanoid interfaces that was sent to Earth to study Haruhi was taking the orders of some of the customers within the café I almost forgot that she has a part-time job working here she can be so easy to miss if you're not paying attention.**_

"Yeah I know what she is but I don't get where you're going with this I mean it's not like she doesn't have any clue as to how this world works the same goes for the others like her."

God just sits there staring whimsically her as if passing a calculating gaze across her very features studying any flaws that she may have.

"When I first came to the knowledge that the entities that exist throughout universes were now capable of creating individual humanoid creatures to interact with other humanoid creatures that I myself had created I was rather stunned. I didn't think that any creature in the universe would be able to crack my code on the make and design of humanoid beings so easily but when I first came into contact with one. I immediately realized that they were not perfect I discovered that the entities are capable of replicating the body and over time they may be able to replicate the mind but there's still something within them that cannot be so easily replicated. No matter how much you may study or theorize the entities that exist in this universe cannot create a soul the one thing that matters most when it comes to human beings. That young lady may be able to mimic and play the part of a young girl but I can almost guarantee you that she doesn't understand the actions she needs to take order maintain conversation with normal humans or the words she needs to say order to satisfy the people around her. These are things she cannot understand emotions are also included in this she can mimic the emotions of others but she understands nothing about what it means to possess them or the feelings that come with them. The same can be said for Ms. Nagato she may not understand her emotions especially now that they've begun to emerge but when she re-created an alternate universe in which you could live a normal life, in which she could be a normal girl she did it because of certain emotions that she did not understand but acted accordingly. This only proves that given time the humanoid interfaces can come to understand the emotions and feelings which gives rise to the one thing that their creators could not give them they in turn are the makers of their own souls."

"So you want me to teach her about the world…. Or Nagato…or do I have to find some other humanoid interface?"

"No Ms. Kimidori and Ms. Nagato already are well on their way to discovering their own souls you need to find another one who is still very much a clean slate do not fret the opportunity will present itself soon enough, of this I can assure you thou whether or not you choose to take the chance is entirely up to you it is your choice to make and I can't tell you otherwise."

"But I don't see how teaching at humanoid interface about the world around it is going to help solve the problem with Haruhi or anyone's for that matter just how does this help? How is this going to keep her from re-created the universe? If things continue with her as they are now it's more than likely she'll rewrite the universe in the next few days maybe much sooner."

"This is true but if you take the chance when it is presented to you then the inevitable will be avoided it will draw Haruhi's attention long enough for her to focus on something else besides wanting a world that is more interesting than the one currently presented to her. Things will get difficult I will admit but always remember that when the storm is completely weathered there's always a bright sky at the end of it but like I said before Kyon this is your choice and your choice alone to make and throughout this whole journey of yours you will be forced to make more decisions that will affect the outcome of the world as we know it. But also be warned that I am not the only one who's taking action in this, my son and his agents are also on the move and will do whatever they can to ensure that Haruhi changes the universe they will offer you unbelievable things great things but also know that they are nothing but liars they will say and do anything to succeed. Even those you would call your allies and those that you would call your friends will eventually receive orders from those that they work for to work on their behalf, their greed will overshadow them forcing them to tell your so-called friends and comrades to do what some would consider unthinkable if it meant they themselves will gain from it all. You must endure you must keep yourself from becoming their puppet in the end it is your free will that is on the line I do not wish to see that taken from you."

_**I couldn't believe what I was hearing God himself was telling me that once again the fate of the universe is in my hands but this time was much more serious because forces I could never hope to comprehend were behind-the-scenes operating in the shadows and even influencing the organizations that my friends in the SOS brigade worked with if what he says is true that sooner or later they would all eventually be my enemies I didn't want to think about it but then I remembered something that Koizumi once told me. About how it wasn't really a coincidence that Ms. Asahina was made into a part of our group, about how her organization chose her specifically because of her looks and personality about how they knew that I would fall for her. I also remember how Ms. Asahina told me that I shouldn't completely trust Koizumi she might have tried to word it differently but I knew what she meant. Suddenly a lot of things started to make more sense I wasn't just the person who could pull Haruhi's strings now I too was a puppet to them. And I'm willing to bet that these organizations are trying to put in their own puppet master to pull my strings and now I was hearing things were going to get a lot more complicated.**_

"I see but will it be directly or indirectly will I see it coming or will I not see it at all? If you wear a look at it both are quite terrifying in their own right I mean what's to stop them just simply from destroying me and replacing me with some look-alike I'm pretty sure a good portion of these organizations could do that."

While in the midst of their conversation Ms. Kimidori comes by and picks up their empty glasses when she reaches for God's cup he gently grabs her wrist, he gently pulled her down to sit on one of his legs just as a child would when they would sit on Santa clause's lap. She seems confused for a moment then sets down her tray while indulging the old man, God begins to study her more closely, now anyone in the café would've seen this is awkward but for some reason they didn't seem to notice.

"You see how she doesn't fight, how she willfully just accepts what's in front of her? She has no idea who I am and is completely willing to experiment on the situation around her. She has no free will she has no understanding of the situation so she takes the chance to study it in the hopes that she will gain a better understanding of it."

God then pinches her cheek and starts to stretch it out he gauges her reaction only to let go. He next cup's her chin turning her head side to side as he gazes into her eyes he seems somehow sad when he looks at them as if he is pitting the creature sitting in his lap.

"When I look at being's like her I immediately realize that I made the right choice in creating free will. Because if I had not the result would've been this, a lifeless doll incapable of feeling anything one that needs to learn from her surroundings often mistaking certain situations. A normal woman would've fought back but I guess in some ways she can tell that I'm not normal or either she feels no hostility coming from me. But in her eye's she knows that I am not human and thus forth does not know how to gauge me….. In a way I can only feel pity for her because it will take a very long time for her to be able to create her own soul."

God hugs kimidori as if she were the one who needed a hug he then sits her down beside him on the bench and gently starts to stroke her hair, she doesn't react. But yet for some reason she seems relaxed.

"Okay now that's just creepy you look like a dirty old man trying to pick up an underage teen at her job you do realize this is not that kind of establishment right?"

"Those are not the thoughts running through my mind Kyon though she is not my child I still feel some sense of attachment to her because it was my design that was copied in her creation in a way I feel like I am looking at a failed experiment that I could not save. But the point I was trying to make is that even if they did destroys you even without Haruhi knowing and somehow managed to replace you with a decent copy she would eventually find out eventually that copy will make a mistake. Such as answering questions that she would normally ask you and you don't answer them in the same way that you usually would she would begin to suspect something, even if a humanoid interface was created to look exactly like you and his personality was copied to be exactly like yours, its behavior, it's wording all of it perfect but still it would not possessed your soul it would be reflected by its own actions. Humanoid interfaces are creatures of probability their thinking is strictly based on a percentage algorithm were the human mind is not and yes some interfaces may face inevitable danger and risk harm to themselves if the need is necessary and some may even show signs of acting out their own free will you yourself have already seen several examples of this in but these only present themselves if the interfaces have been in this world for extended periods of time where they have developed emotional attachment or sense of self within this world. Your interface will not be able to stay in this world very long without Haruhi noticing something that in itself will not last long. So in other words Koizumi's words to you were correct there are replacements for himself, Ms. Nagato, and Ms. Asahina but there is no substitute for you, you cannot be replaced the organizations know this so eliminating you from the picture is not an option the risk is too great, and the repercussions even greater."

When God had finished talking Kyon noticed that Ms. Kimidori was no longer leaning against him instead she was leaning against Kyon this almost surprised him to the point where he nearly jumped but made no sudden movements because she was fast asleep. But while in the midst of wondering how she got there God began to stand up from his seat and it was when Kyon noticed that it was raining quite heavily outside there was no lightning just a heavy and gentle rain.

"Silly me…. It seems I let my emotions get the better of me again and I was so certain that I had them under control this time. All-well I'll promise sunny skies tomorrow and make sure that the weather patterns return to the normal state."

God turns to Kyon and gives him a weary smile.

"I'm very glad we had this talk Kyon if there is anything I am sure of it is that you are the right person to count on, I look forward to seeing exactly what path you choose to follow. Make your choices well my son I will be watching you and praying for your success."

God turns to leave.

**Wait **_**hold on…he's just going to leave….just like that….no way I still have questions, like how my supposed to do this, how will I be able to do this, what am I supposed to teach this Eve that I'm supposed to choose. And while I'm at it I might as well ask, what the deal was with the Crusades, the Salem witch hunts, the infinite number of religions that were out there, and you know what I think I will ask what the meaning of life is and if I don't like the answer is I'll just keep nagging him about it.**_

Just as Kyon was about to stand a flash of lightning blinded him for second when he could see again God's pointer finger was directly in front of Kyon's forehead the action was so sudden that Kyon didn't move a muscle.

"Now now…. It's not nice to wake of lady when she just fell asleep be a gentleman and wait there someone will come for in a moment just the patient."

With those final words God tapped Kyon's forehead with his finger causing the confused teen to sit back down. He could only sit there and watch as God made his way to the exit as soon as the doors opened Nagato was standing outside with an umbrella above her she walked in and she passed God without even a passing glance she then walked up to Kyon.

"Nagato... What are you doing here?"

"You called me here in order to retrieve Emiri Kimidori you stated over the phone that she looked tired and would probably need my assistance in getting home."

"….. I did... When?"

"Approximately 15 min. and 34 seconds ago."

_**Around the time that Ms. Kimidori joined us at the table apparently God knew that she was going to fall asleep but why call Nagato if I can just as easily wake her up and what is he playing at having her lean up against me. Or maybe I should ask how he did it I didn't even see her move and I'm pretty sure he didn't move…. I think well besides that.**_

Kyon gently shakes Ms. Kimidori in order to wake her up she stirs slightly before she is fully awake and completely aware of her surroundings she gazes at Kyon and then at Nagato she then stands and bows deeply to Kyon.

"I am very sorry to have troubled you I don't know what came over me I just felt very sleepy all of a sudden I do hope you will forgive me."

"It's no trouble at all I think it was the old man's fault mainly I don't know why but when he started stroking your hair you went out like a light."

Kimidori looked at Kyon with a confused expression. "What do you mean….there was no old man….you were the one who was stroking my hair….. And playing with my face there was no old man anywhere."

It was Kyon's turn to look confused Kimidori seem to be under the impression that he was the one who did all those things to her and she didn't really seem to mind it at all.

"Wait hold on…. Are you saying that I'm the one who did all those things to you, that I sent you in my lap, that I played with your face, that I'm the one who set you down beside me and started stroking her hair?"

"Yes you were and you were very gentle as well to be honest I was quite surprised that you would express such action so openly in public."

_**I don't know why God was choosing to do this to me knowing full well it would probably cause problems for me later on down the line if she decided to continue her self experimentations on me and I could name one girl in particular who wouldn't like that at all. If there's one thing that I've learned for certain about humanoid interfaces is that in experimentation with themselves upon human interaction they tend to seek results based on their own reactions….not counting the one who is currently standing beside me that I made contact with on a daily basis. But I get the feeling that if Ms. Kimidori were to be any kind of normal girl….she would be a closet deviant pervert, I don't know why I just get that vibe from her…. And it was scary.**_

"Well….. Let's just pretend it never happened."

Kyon turns to Nagato.

"Nagato by any chance did you happen to notice who it was you pass by on your way into the café this is important so I need you to tell me honestly."

"I passed by no one on my way in I merely stepped inside and approached you accordingly."

Kyon turns away he looks at his teacup only to notice that there is only one teacup on the table there was only ever one teacup.

_**I see he must really have been God then to everyone else here I was sitting alone, I was drinking alone, to them I must not have even been talking. And then there's my actions towards Ms. Kimidori she only perceived me as the only one being at this table and Nagato shows up saying I called her…. God truly does work in mysterious ways…. Either that or I'm going completely insane. I wish it was the latter but I know somewhere deep in my heart that it's the former. That is just the way my life works and it completely sucks why am I the one who gets stuck with the weird happenings of this world did I do something in a past life to deserve this if so I'll apologize for it, all of it just please let me live a normal life.**_

The next day at school

For once Kyon had managed to get to class before Haruhi the events of yesterday's meeting were still weighing heavily on his mind. So he sat there staring out the window at the clear skies that God promised to bring.

_**The opportunity will present itself he said…. What is that even supposed to mean I was unaware that God was able to give cryptic messages. I mean does he do this to the people he talked to on purpose? Or is he trying to go for this all-powerful but mysterious God kind of look? Anyway you look at it it's still annoying it's not like the opportunity itself is going to smack me write the face. And if it does I'm going to be really pissed off I don't think I can take anymore big surprises.**_

Kyon's attention was brought back to the realm of the living, (much to his disappointment) when Mr. Okabe walked into the classroom telling everyone to take their seats he hadn't even noticed it but everybody was already in the classroom even Haruhi had managed to somehow sneak up behind him into her own desk. But there was something about Mr. Okabe at the moment that gave Kyon a sense of dread as if he knew he wasn't going to be happy about what his homeroom teacher was going to say. So with a big grin on his face and Pep in is walk he waited for everyone to take their seat before he get on with his big announcement.

"Alright everyone listen up starting today we have a new transfer student joining us. I'm pretty sure all of you are going to be just as happy as I am about it… you can come in now."

Slowly the door to the classroom opened and walking in with with all the refined grace of a well-trained lady was the new transfer student ever so subtly you could hear everyone in the classroom gasp with excitement. And what faintly sounded like a perverted grunt coming from Taniguchi's desk, Kyon on the other hand wasn't so excited. Because the further the girl got into the room the more his face contorted into a silent scream of terror the very figure that still haunt his nightmares was back.

_**No way!... walking with the refined grace of an elegant lady, long slender legs, Slim perfect waste, cute tight round apple bottom that was noticeable even from under her skirt, a well-developed chest, a long slender neck, a super cute face, a beautiful smile big round eyes, long beautiful blue hair, EYEBROWS! This can't be real the creature from my nightmares has returned from her extended trip to Canada and was now once again standing her…. In the same room as me….. Why haven't I jumped out the window yet?!**_

"Hello there my name is Ryoko Asakura."

_**It speaks!**_

"I know it must be a surprise to see me again, but because I missed Japan and my friends here so much I managed to convince my parents to let me come back. I know I've been gone for quite a while and I may not be aware of certain things that happened with how long I've been gone but I do hope all of you will be as kind as you've always been to me and fill me in on current events. Oh and I hope we have lots of fun this year together I'm really looking forward to it. (Beaming smile of brightness!)

_**Lies and slander I say, burn the witch!**_

The whole classroom immediately erupted into cheers some of the boys were even howling like dogs and for some reason you could hear a faint weeping sound coming from Taniguchi's desk. Several of the girls seem to be swooning as well now that the girl that they idolize themselves to be like was back. Haruhi had this look on her face that simply said that she had just found the entertainment that she had been looking for. Kyon on the other hand was not very happy at all with all the cheering that was going on the only thing he can do was sit there his mouth hanging open his eyebrow twitching. Because the girl who tried to kill him and given him his first near-death experience was back then he had this strange feeling that somewhere God was laughing at him he didn't know why he just knew. But amidst the chaos of the cheering classroom Ryoko's eyes managed to find Kyon's he flinched slightly when they made eye contact. But then she gave him a wink and a small smile under normal circumstances any normal high school boy would've started blushing like mad and passed out for the sheer amount of blood they were losing from their nose. Kyon however turned white as a ghost with an expression of utter fear painted across his face he took this gesture is her saying (never be alone or I will gut you like fish).

_**Curse you God curse you and your subliminal messaging you're not funny not at all!**_

A/N: well is the first chapter I really hope I did this right I'm hoping even more than I'm able to keep the characters in character and I had to try to, with a decent conversation for Kyon to have with ….well…God is larger than I thought would be given such a cynical son of a bitch it's hard to tell whether or not he would choose his words carefully while talking to God or not. But as you can tell I was just pretty much winging it i hope it disappointed many of you but I would like to know what you guys thought read and review please.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: okay so I guess I got some pretty positive feedback for this story. And I would have to say I'm pretty surprised on how many hits it got so I decided to go ahead and continue on with it. Hopefully I won't screw anything up and will somehow manage to keep you guys interested. So until then I hope you guys enjoy the rest of the story and let me know what you think along the way. Oh and one more thing when I write something out like this (_**Kyon's thoughts**_) they are in fact Kyon's thoughts I noticed that throughout the Anime and the Manga Kyon does most of his narrating through his thoughts. And at times is sometimes difficult to tell when he's thinking and when he's actually talking. Due to the fact that most the people he interacts with seem to be mind readers at times. Okay enough of my ranting let's get this wagon back on the trail.

Chapter 2: Kyon's dilemma

_**God hates me that is the only thing that is crossing my mind right now. That and I wish very deeply that I was somebody else right now somebody who was ignorant to the existence of all the abnormal things I find myself smack dab in the middle of, hell I'd even want to be Taniguchi at this point. But given my current streak of luck right now that wish would probably be granted and I would still be smack dab in the middle of all the abnormal things I'm experiencing. Just for one more day I would like to blissfully go about my life completely ignorant of all the things that shouldn't exist, that can't exist simply because common knowledge dictates they shouldn't. But that's not going to stop the reality of the situation of the things that I know shouldn't exist really do exist. And dame it all that's the part that sucks which is why I'm convinced that God hates me. Because only he would probably get a kick out of my current situation one that I really wish I was not in right now.**_

_**After the miraculous reappearance of one Ryoko Asakura the very same girl who tried to kill me a few semesters back. She'd spent most of the morning class sitting patiently in the desk that she once occupied before her ever so mysterious disappearance. I myself couldn't concentrate on what anyone was saying my eyes ever so focused on the girl who had her back to me the whole time I didn't want to take any chances I knew that somehow someway she would find a way to corner me. Like a cat corners of mouse and finish what she started all that time ago. I was scared shitless because of the fact, but also angry that she hadn't tried to make a move to do so in the first place it was like she was taunting me. Like she was dancing and prancing around in front of me singing the song of my death ever so comfortably and was making no sudden moves to do it. Almost as if she was slowly trying to drive me insane with the mere thought of my death before she finally decided to finish the job herself.**_

_**But despite my ever so shaky appearance in class when the clock got down to last 30 seconds of class for the morning. I began to grip the side of my desk so hard I swear I could hear the wood cracking under the pressure of my grip I was ready to charge out of the room at speeds faster than Haruhi could drag me. In an attempt to get as far away from this maniac as possible and to the safety of Nagato's ever quite shadow. Where I would be free to ask her for answers to questions like…oh I don't know like, why the hell is Asakura back from Canada!? But I never got the chance because around the time we hit the 15 second mark time in the classrooms seemed to slowdown or stop altogether at this point I couldn't even tell anymore. But I also notice that I myself couldn't move I mean I was still able to move my eyes and think clearly I just couldn't move or even speak for that matter. And just when I was about to ask what the hell was going on in my head I got my answers when Asakura stood up and started making her way toward my desk that damnable smile ever present on her face. I wanted to back away to retreat to a dark little corner I felt like a child again, wanting to hide under my sheets thinking it would help me hide from the boogie man. The girl in front of me was no boogie man, in fact she was a hell of a lot worse. It took her a mere few seconds to make it to my desk by that time my eyes were looking up at her in fear as she smiled down at me from the position on my desk that was obviously saying that as soon as the bell rang I was going to charge out of the room. And it completely unnerved me how she started to make small talk despite the fact that I couldn't move.**_

"Hello Kyon it's been a while, how have you been?"

Ryoko bends down to eye level hands behind her back as she smiles brightly.

Kyon narrows his eyes.

_**Well you know it's a full-time job keeping the world safe from Haruhi's boredom… and I was doing good until you walked in the room that is.**_

Ryoko narrows her eyes slightly her smile never leaving her face.

"I do apologize for this but I knew if I had tried to approach you in a traditionally way you would've run the other way."

_**No kidding.**_

Ryoko kneels down and crosses her arms over Kyon's desk her head propped to the side as she stares at Kyon.

"I know the last time we encountered each other isn't exactly among your fondest of memories but I can assure you that things are different now. Thanks to the data entity my programming has been rewritten and I received quite a bit of a scolding for my actions of the last time. And after an intense sweeping clean of all my programs I have been deemed fit to return to my observations of Ms. Suzumiya as Ms. Nagato's backup unit. Ever since the incident with Ms. Nagato rearranging the world the way she did it was deemed that my reinstallation into this world was necessary. Ms. Kimidori has been given authority and power over the both of us in order to carefully watch our actions to make sure the both of us do not step out of line. But I'm back now with a few minor alterations made, you will find that it is completely impossible for me to kill you now that and any thoughts that I may have on the subject will be completely pacified by a safety protocol that has been installed within me. So you have no more need to fear me…. Not anymore at least."

Kyon rolls his eyes.

_**Still won't stop me from being afraid even once you clean and debug a computer there is still the chance that a virus is going to find its way in. Even with all new safety and protection so even if you say that your words mean next to nothing at me.**_

Ryoko gives Kyon a sad look.

"What…. You don't believe me?"

Kyon gives her a hardened stare.

_**What do you think? It's not like I'm inclined to believe you.**_

Ryoko thinks for a moment and then stands up straight where she then materializes her trademark combat knife in her right hand. Then she begins it dangerously close to Kyon's eye.

Kyon's eyes widened as the blade closes in. The pupil of the eye that the blade is closest to dilates as it gets closer.

_**Hey, hey, hey, hey that's too close you're getting too close get that thing away from me!**_

Ryoko then suddenly pulls back as she begins to absentmindedly twirl the knife around her index finger.

"You see if I wanted you dead I would have done it the moment I had stopped the data flow in this room. It would be very simple for me to cut your neck open here and now and let you bleed out until you die. Once that's done I would just simply take my seat again and allow the data to flow back into this room where you would be found at your desk covered in blood. No one would know what happened and they would never find a weapon. Most would be curious as to how a young man such as yourself was able to even commit suicide in the midst of the classroom without anyone noticing. And in turn it would cause Ms. Suzumiya to create a massive explosion of data thus forth filling my original objective as well is my desired outcome. I could do that but I'm not going to because it is not possible for me to think that way anymore."

Kyon gives her a blank look.

_**Sounds like you didn't have any trouble thinking about it just now. But I guess if you're trying to prove a point you did a good job at least if you wanted me dead you could've done so a long time ago. That much you've proven but it still doesn't make me trust you or assure me that it's safe to be around you. Everyone else here may see you as the prime proper class rep that's always got a smile on her face and is nice to everyone. But you and I both know it's only a façade you don't understand anything you're doing you're just following regulation and protocol based upon what you feel is the proper response to certain situations. So you shouldn't try and convince me otherwise I still know the truth about you that much hasn't changed.**_

Ryoko sees his look and appears to catch on to what he's thinking she taps her chin in thought for a moment until an idea comes to her.

"Silly me I'd almost forgotten that organic life forms such as yourself need more reassurance than just someone's word. Perhaps maybe a more hands-on approach is necessary."

Kyon suddenly feels himself moving without his body's consent as he begins to sit up straight in his desk and his hands being placed neatly in his lap.

_**What are you doing now? Stop that I'm not your puppet!**_

Kyon's eyes go from angry to startled surprise in a matter of milliseconds. The moment his position changed in his seat Ryoko began to climb on top of his desk she was now sitting in front of him her legs placed on either side of him. He was literally eye level with her chest due to the fact that he couldn't move his head he had to shift his glance upward just to see her. She gave him a pretty smile then she started on button her blouse just a little bit to reveal good portion of her chest and bit of her lacy bra.

Kyon's eyes were still wide with shock.

_**What the hell are you doing now?! Some crazy alien peace offerings…. Honestly…. This would probably work on a normal person but I know what you're really like. So you're not going to succeed at seducing me with your sexy body. And smooth skin… and long shapely legs…. And curvy figure…. And incredibly pretty smile… and eyes… and…. The hell am I saying bad Kyon bad no thinking dirty thoughts of the girl who wants to kill you need to stay strong. You must resist her and your hormonal instincts and stay strong.**_

"I will allow you to move one arm freely that way you can take your vengeance on me for the trauma I put you through."

_**Move one arm freely + take vengeance on her + trauma she put me through = doing dirty things to her with one arm as a way to make up for the terror she brought upon me….. I am having a very hard time resisting my hormonal instincts now a very hard time.**_

Ryoko holds the knife out to Kyon.

"So here take it use it however you will I'll even turn on my pain receptors so I feel everything. Vent your frustration out on me until you are satisfied I will not stop you."

Kyon gives the knife a hard stare.

_**So this is what she meant…. God I'm disgusting.**_

Ryoko gives him a sideways glance.

"What are you waiting for? Take it use it however you want."

It took Kyon a minute to realize it but he could move his right arm again. He flexed and tested his movements for a moment just to confirm that he had complete control he then looked back at Ryoko's knife he stared at it for a moment then looked back to her. Her smile still present on her face Kyon then made his decision he took the knife from her she then closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable strike. But it never came what did come however was the sound of a metallic object striking the floor of the classroom Ryoko opened her eyes to see that Kyon had dropped the knife to his side. She then looks back as he stared back at her with eyes filled with conviction and honor.

_**You may understand a lot of scientific facts about humanity but what you seem to not understand is that every human is different. If you understood me at all and you would know that I'm not type of person to do something like this just because you say it's okay. And I swear if I could move right now I would…. Wait a minute…. I can move one arm as a matter of fact I think I will.**_

SMACK!

Kyon using his free arm delivered a hard slap to the side of Ryoko's face. She was confused for a moment rubbing the side of her face she looked back at Kyon and gave him another pretty smile signifying that she understood.

"I see… very well then I apologize it seems I still have much to learn whenever it comes to the nature of organic life forms. So I think I'll actually take some of the advice that I was given by the data entity. It told me that if I wish to understand human society better I would need to ask questions if there was something I didn't understand it's best to have it explained to me in a way that I can understand. But until now I didn't think there was life form on this planet that could do so this seeing as to how Ms. Nagato is going through changes in better understanding human nature thanks to you. I think I might as well take a chance on you as well Kyon so if it's all right with you I would like to learn from you if you let me."

_**It was then that the words spoken to me from yesterday came back and hit me like a freight train. He said the opportunity would presented itself to me and that whether or not I took it would be my choice I couldn't move my head right now so I couldn't give her an answer. But this had to of been it the opportunity that would present itself to me but maybe this wasn't the only opportunity maybe there would be others. Or maybe this would be the only one but right now I couldn't make a decision because I couldn't move or talk she was giving me time to respond to her this much I could understand. But if this was my only opportunity to gain back my free will by playing the part of Adam for God then the only opportunity I would have to gain an Eva was this moment but could I do it. Could I teach the ways of the world to a being that at one point tried to take my life could I forget my fear in order to teacher so that I may free myself. I have a lot to think about obviously this isn't going to be an easy choice.**_

"I know you can't answer now but I also know that you don't want to answer now this is something you're going to have to think about. But you have plenty of time now ill understand if you don't answer me after all my main objective is to just be here and observe. But I really do hope we can put the past behind us and start over again after all I really do like you Kyon."

Kyon gives her a blank stare.

_**Don't lie to me you don't even know what those words mean. You're just saying that because you think that's what I want to hear.**_

Ryoko buttons her blouse back up as she gets off of Kyon's desk and makes her way back to her own seat. Before she sits she looks back at kyon and gives him a wink as she settles into her seat without turning around she speaks.

"Ms. Suzumiya will attempt to grab your collar and pull you out the class with her one second after the bell rings. If you pull back at the right moment she will miss and fall over her desk."

Kyon didn't know what to make that but he took it as a warning seeing as to how Haruhi was more than likely going to do just that. And with that brief silence time resumed its natural pace Kyon could move again and so can everyone else. He was so relieved about being able to move again he almost didn't realize it when the bell rang signaling the end of class. But once he heard it his instincts kicked in as he yanked himself forward and heard a crash from behind him. He turned in his seat to see Haruhi on the floor in front of her desk and behind his at that point he was almost grateful for Ryoko's warning. That lasted until Haruhi got back up and snatched him by his tie and yanked him out the class it didn't take her long to Drag him to their usual meeting spot with him and stairwell…you know the place where she usually kidnaps and too.

"All right Kyon as of this moment the SOS brigade has a new mystery on its hands and that mystery is the sudden reappearance of one Ryoko Asakura."

Kyon had a look of utter annoyance on his face.

"Why are you so interested? When she disappeared you showed great interest in the fact that she just vanished. But you got bored of it really quick the moment you couldn't prove anything was out of the ordinary. Come on cut the girl some slack she just moved to Canada after a while she got depressed and decided to move back to be with her friends. Can't you just leave well enough alone? And by the way you can let go of the tie."

Haruhi yanked him down even further.

"Well that was then and this is now and I got to tell you there is something suspicious about her just popping up out of nowhere. I mean she just left and left behind no information on how to get in touch with her it was like she didn't even exist. And now she just shows up out of the blue with that lame story about missing her friends and wanting to move back to Japan. This just reeks of suspicious and we're going to find out what's really going on here. I'm going by the other brigade member's classrooms during lunch today and inform them what's going on and then I'm going to invite Asakura over to the club room after school today so we can interrogate her."

"Interrogate her? She's not a terrorist Haruhi."

_**At least I don't think she is.**_

"That doesn't matter the point is we're going to get answers from her even if we have to torture her to do it."

"That's illegal you know you're going to get us arrested."

"So make sure you're at the club room today after school and don't be late or it's the death penalty."

_**She's not listening again as usual.**_

Haruhi runs off to leave Kyon to face Palm in his grief.

_**The rest of the day went by rather smoothly and classes were uneventful at the most. The Ryoko seem to be getting back into her element as far as it came to being surrounded by her admirers. And bombarded with questions about Canada she even managed to retake her position as the class representative and all this was done without her trademark smile leaving her face. All in all everyone was happy especially Taniguchi I mean seriously he wouldn't stop drooling Kunikida and I had to tell him more than once today to close his mouth or the fly's would get in. Not that he cared of course he was probably just happy to have his eye candy back. But all that was just a prelude to things getting much, much worse.**_

SOS brigade clubroom after school

The only ones in the clubroom were Kyon, Koizumi, Mikuru, and Nagato. All of which were going about their usual routine Mikuru was serving tea, Nagato was reading one of her books, and Kyon and Koizumi were playing a game of chess which Kyon was losing badly. He was more than positive that his associated partners in crime were up to date on the situation. So he thought he might as well get his questions out before Haruhi comes crashing thru the door.

Kyon moves a piece on the board then looks to Nagato.

"Nagato you were aware that Asakura was going to be coming back right?"

"…Yes…"

"Well why didn't you tell me anything sooner just to give me a heads up that the person who tried to kill me would be coming back from "CANADA" or any kind of warning."

Kyon put extra emphasis on Canada.

"It was not confirmed at the time if Ryoko Asakura would even be returning to this dimension let alone this planet. Reinstalling her into this world was a decision made by the data thought entity due to the decisions that I made in the past. The data thought entity felt it best to have her reinstalled after her reprogramming was completed. I have not been made aware of any other objectives she may have been given nor is she inclined to tell me of them especially if they were orders given to her by the thought entity itself. But if it is your personal safety that you are worried for in this matter than I can assure you that it is quite impossible for her to physically or mentally harm you anymore."

Koizumi moves a piece on the board.

"That much I understand she confirmed it for me in class today she even gave me the opportunity to seek vengeance. But there are a few other things I'm finding strange about the whole situation. Despite the threat that I sent the thought entity through you I can't help us see this as a way for it to somehow have a certain amount of leverage over you. You may still be in charge of her and she may not be able to act independently without your consent. But we've seen exactly how well that works in the past if anything she's probably a guard dog since Kimidori can't be around you all the time Ryoko might be the next best choice."

Kyon moves a piece on the board that's when Koizumi decides to state his opinion on the matter.

"If I may be so bold as to state my opinion the actions of the thought entity are not exactly that surprising. Given the current state of events that have been occurring it's only natural that a being in power would want a little extra insurance to ensure that something like what happened with Ms. Nagato doesn't happen again. In truth it wouldn't be that surprising if Ms. Asakura had a secret order given to her by the data thought entity. In fact my organization has already taken extra precautions on the matter as well but as for what kind of precautions I have not been informed. And I'm almost certain that not only my organization have taken an interest in installing a few new safety measures."

Koizumi looks to Mikuru all knowingly as she happily serves Kyon and himself some tea. She serves Nagato her tea before she sits down and continues her latest knitting project.

"So you see a situation like what happened that time can easily shake the foundations of a lot of powerful group's right down to the point to where the thought that it could happen again can utterly terrify them. And dealing with the fallout of such incident can be just as bad this time it had to do with a humanoid interface. They are beings created for the sole purpose of interacting with organic life forms they are not meant to have independent thought processes or even make decisions on their own for that matter. But because they spend so much time among human beings eventually they begin to take on characteristics of those humans which enables them to sort of gain and will of their own to independently make their own choices and do what they want to. A being that can experience the power to choose from themselves one who has never had the opportunity to do such a thing before in their life will find a sort of pleasure in it a feeling that they do not recognize but enjoy immensely. But at the same time it would probably terrify them as well but there really is no telling how they will react considering that just like humans they are all very different from one another."

Koizumi moves a piece on the board. Kyon looks at him confused.

"You make it sound like them having feelings as a bad thing in the end isn't that what makes us human what makes them human. They pretty much are they just happen to be different in a lot of ways it's not like they're hurting anyone with their existence they try to stay as normal as much as possible. So what's wrong with learning a little bit about human nature and gaining some emotions along the way if anything it might be good for them."

Koizumi raises his hands and defense.

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing I'm just saying they could be dangerous. A lot of humanoid interfaces don't experience the same things the ones that we know do in fact there's a great many humanoid interfaces out there that have a rather negative outlook on human society or the human race as a whole. When they come to this planet they are required to learn about the beings their supposed interact with and in that time they grow to have a rather negative opinion about us. For instance there are a lot of things in human society even in this city that the populace is not made aware of in fact high-ranking officials that control the city invest a lot of money into what goes into the media and what doesn't. This is a way for them to control the masses to make them feel like they're safe or to keep them in the dark about current events that will more than likely cause anarchy and panic. But despite how capable we are about lying to each other we have no chance whatsoever when it comes to lying to humanoid interface they can instantly tell if we are lying and have more than enough capabilities of figuring out the truth for themselves. Most humanoid interfaces based their opinion on human kind to this extent the only thing they usually see is the evils of man which can very much easily overshadow the good. But the point I'm trying to get across is that the data thought entity and its rivals for that matter are constantly having to switch out the humanoid interfaces that it puts on this planet because once some of them gain their own free will and start making choices on their own they can become pretty violent. And once they do there is hardly anything capable of stopping them especially with their abilities to manipulate the data flows around them."

Kyon moves a piece on the board and rubs his forehead.

"Okay I get that but that still doesn't explain why having their own emotions would be bad for them. I mean once they experience them for themselves they can easily understand why other human beings express them the way they do can you honestly say that would be a bad thing. If they gain a certain level of understanding about it then they would probably connect to humankind as a whole a lot better. I'm not saying that they would be happy about all of it there are some emotions out there that humankind would have been better off not knowing about."

Nagato looks up from her book.

"… irrational thinking…"

Kyon gives her a sideways look.

"I don't think I'm being irrational at all can you honestly say that you regret feeling any of your emotions at all?"

Koizumi buts in.

"I don't think that's what she means I believe what she's trying to say is that emotions would cause irrational thinking am I right?"

"… yes…"

"Think about it Kyon when human beings go through certain emotional stages we develop certain symptoms that come with those emotions. Such as fear, anger, and anxiety though the symptoms may differ for each person, there is without a doubt that when human beings experience these emotions we know exactly what they are. And though we may try and stay in control of them sometimes we can't help but lose ourselves in the raw emotion of the situation this in turn causes irrational thinking. But for humanoid interfaces beings who are not supposed to experience emotions when they are suddenly faced with the symptoms that come with certain emotions they begin to question whether or not they are actually feeling them. Since they can't accurately identify them they begin to experience a new kind of emotion."

Koizumi moves a piece on the board closing in on Kyon's King.

"... Fear… if a humanoid interfaces is faced with something they can't identify whether they know it or not they start to feel the emotion known as fear and when they are afraid that gives rise to their irrational thinking. Something they are not supposed to do being creatures of logic and scientific equations this in turn causes them to slip up and make mistakes they normally wouldn't. And whether Ms. Nagato willingly admits it or not when she began to first start feeling her emotions she too was fearful. Which gave rise to her first big mistake her irrational thinking caused her to re-create an entirely new world."

Kyon looks at the board and realizes he's in check.

"Fear of one's emotions huh…. Sounds completely unreasonable to an extent…. But I guess I can see why it would be scary to someone who's never experienced them."

Kyon knocks down his King. But once he did the door to the club room slammed open revealing a beaming Haruhi and dragging right behind her a very confused looking Asakura.

"Okay everyone get ready because the interrogation begins now!"

_**This will be good I wonder if she's going to blackmail her.**_

During the interrogation.

_**Once Asakura figured out that Haruhi just wanted to ask her some questions about Canada she was more than happy to oblige. However so far the interrogation wasn't going as well as Haruhi had thought Asakura answered every question spot on and without hesitation almost like she actually knew what it was like to live in Canada. She even showed pictures of her and her parents visiting famous Canadian sites all pretty normal stuff a little too normal for Haruhi. All of us were standing behind Haruhi as she continued her investigation/interrogation while Asakura just sat in front of her smiling happily as if she didn't have a care in the world…. Must be nice.**_

"Okay next question when you left you left behind no information about where you were going or how to get a hold of you or even an address to forward your mail why is that?"

Haruhi asks as she shines the light of a lamp in Asakura's eyes.

"Oh but we did we left all of that information with the landlord before we left however he can be so absent-minded sometimes it wouldn't surprise me if he forgot completely all about it."

Haruhi seemed annoyed by that answer while behind her Kyon handed Koizumi a ¥1000 bill.

"All right next question why would you leave so suddenly were there family issues involved did you owe money to a crime lord or something or maybe you're on the run?"

"Oh no nothing like that my father just received a big promotion and was made the head of their Canadian branch so we had to leave right away."

Haruhi again disappointed by the answer but this time behind her Mikuru handed Kyon a ¥1000 bill.

"All right then next question what are your parent's professions and who do they work for?"

"My father is a banker who works for the Tokyo international bank and my mother is one of their stock handlers."

Haruhi even more annoyed now rubbed her head furiously while behind her Koizumi handed Mikuru a ¥1000 bill.

"Alright how about this question are you or are you not…. An alien from another planet!"

No one was really surprised by that question in fact they had grown so used to her randomness they were half expecting it.

"Well not really I was created by the integrated data thought entity in order to interact and gather data on the organic life forms of this planet."

The room was silent deadly silent and aside from the rapid twitching of Haruhi's eyebrow nothing else in the room moved.

"You…. You're messing with me aren't you?"

"I assure you I'm not, everything I just said is true."

_**The funny thing about all this… is that she's telling the truth and Haruhi doesn't believe her.**_

Haruhi looked even more annoyed now but behind her everyone was handing ¥1000 bills to Nagato.

"Oh come on there has got to be a plot hole in your story somewhere….anywhere whatsoever. You're just too perfect no ones that perfect you just reek of suspicion and I am going to find out why so you better be prepared."

_**So the truth comes out she's not just suspicious about her suddenly returning she was suspicious about her altogether…. Now that I think about it…. It does seem impossible for someone to be that perfect…. But I know it's all mostly an act anyways but yet I can't say anything…. Not like she would believe me even if I did.**_

Haruhi perks up as an idea comes to her head.

"I got it!"

Haruhi jumps up and points an accusing finger in Asakura's face.

"In class you said that you managed to convince your parents to allow you to move back because and that you missed your old school and friends. But in the photographs you showed us you seem quite happy being there so that leads me to believe there is another ulterior reason for you to want to move back here...So…. What is it?"

_**A normal person would not have been able to see it but I noticed it right away. The question had completely thrown Asakura off guard she wasn't prepared to answer that question I could see it in her eyes apparently she hadn't thought that far ahead. She was smart enough to know that she couldn't get away with lying to Haruhi right now if she did everything that would come out of her mouth would probably be jumbled words. A definite sign of someone who was trying to cover something up she had to think of something quick something believable and fast too. I could see the gears and Haruhi's twisted little mind beginning to turn she was starting to think she stumble across something big she probably would have been right if her opponent wasn't Asakura. However when Asakura looked at me and gave me an ever so faint smile I got really nervous.**_

"Well looks like you got me your right there is a different reason why I decided to move back here but missing my school and my friends was a good enough reason for my parents to allow me to come back. Of course I could never tell them the real reason why I wanted to come back it would have been too embarrassing and I'm more than certain my father would never allow it."

_**If this were an anime we would all have question marks above our head's right now... Except for Haruhi she would have eyes so big and glazed over that you'd swear you could see sparkles around her.**_

"Please don't tell anyone but I have been secretly keeping in contact with another person at the school while I was in Canada. A pen-pal of sorts we instant message each other for long hours into the night the conversations were never anything to special we would usually just talk about our days went but I always felt that it was sort of romantic. I didn't tell him I was returning because I wanted to surprise him and as it turns out he was very surprised."

_**I know she was making this up but she was doing a damn good job of making it sound realistic. She even had a faint blush on the side of her cheeks and she was cupping her face and wiggling around her chair like an eager schoolgirl. I say that with the greatest amount of sarcasm possible because even though she does look like an eager schoolgirl that still doesn't change the fact that I know she is an alien killing machine capable of impossible feats no normal human can do.**_

Haruhi leans over the table eager to hear more, Koizumi was stroking his chin in wonder; even Mikuru took an interest ever so slightly leaning in to hear more her hands covering her mouth in excitement and a faint blush appearing on her cheeks as well. She knew this was a made-up story but that didn't stop her from getting absorbed in it, Nagato seemed to take it in stride's not really interested or uninterested. Kyon just crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side with a raised eyebrow.

"It's nothing too serious were really good friends and all and we try to maintain a certain level of professionalism at school leaving our conversations for after. But I can't help but find myself getting a little giddy over the fact that I even have a secret relationship it so daring and mysterious that it almost makes you want to."

Asakura was blushing even more now.

_**That's one hell of an act she got the lovesick schoolgirl thing down….. But for some reason…. I have this overwhelming sense of dread…. And I don't know why for some reason I feel the urge to jump out the window again and run like hell I wonder why.**_

"Well putting all that aside I wanted to hug him from the moment I saw him again it's been so long and he hasn't changed a bit. It's so difficult to restrain myself at this point… that I almost want to… want to…. Oh I'm sorry Kyon but I can't take it anymore!"

Asakura jumped out of her seat and thrust herself right into Kyon burying her face lovingly into his chest and gripping his shirt for dear life. The room was deadly silent Kyon was still trying to process what just happened when it finally dawned on him he realized where his feeling of dread was coming from it was a premonition of the future. He noticed that there was a cloud of darkness forming over Haruhi and her eyes were overshadowed by her bangs. The other brigade members were visibly moving away from her ever so slightly in an attempt to avoid the storm that was currently about to explode. The only notable sound coming from the room at that time was from Koizumi cell phone which was playing his super emergency ring tone from his "part-time job" it was quite obvious why they were calling him.

_**You… bitch… you evil manipulative creature from another planet you have condemned me to a fate worse than death. You just dropped the atom bomb with a freaking smile I swear by any and all that is holy I will have my revenge on you I will laugh, and you will cry, and then I will laugh some more. Enjoy snuggling your face in my chest today because if I survive today you will know my wrath tomorrow that's a promise….. But like I said earlier today God must really hate me.**_

A/N: well that's it for chapter two I hope I didn't make anyone to out of character if I did let me know I want to make sure I get this right. So anyway read review you know the drill I'd really like to know what you guys think Just a gentle okay.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Before anyone say's anything I just want to say I did not forget about this story. But I am in a bind, my life has very much turned to shit I mean I am pretty much typing out this chapter in my car (which I am currently living in) after a long day of looking for a job. So rejoice I am actually not depressed enough to not put up a new chapter, so read it…..NOW!

P.S.: The site didnt load this chaper the way i typed it so i had to fix a few things let me know if anything seems off.

Chapter 3: I never touched her!

**In this world there is an unspoken rule and understanding between men about women. Sure we may poke fun at each other and have a good laugh at the expense of the poor bastard who has to follow this rule. But all men hold the understanding that this rule no matter how much we may not want to must be followed, for one simple reason "that women are nuts, crazy, and vengeful to a deadly and mind numbing degree" no matter how timid, or outspoken the woman, be she a lover of men or her fellow women. We men must always remember that they are still women, and should they be so inclined to do so they will ruin your life and not bat an eye. And that rule that must always be followed is.**

Unspoken man rule #404: If you should so anger any member of the female gender to the point that the fallout of that anger will endanger the lives of you and your fellow man…..take one for the team and give her your ball's on a silver platter!

**The unspoken rules of man defiantly did not have Haruhi in mind when they were created. Because I am more than certain that sacrificing my boys alone would not be nearly enough to appease the angry god that is Haruhi. After miss Asakura's bold declaration to all of the SOS Brigade, Haruhi just picked up her bag told us we were done for the day and left. Koizumi whose phone had not stopped ringing, he had to go to his "part time job", apparently there was an emergency, that was probably one of the few times I had seen him distressed. Nagato just went back to reading one of her books, while Mikuru looked torn between what to do the club activity's had ended earlier than usual so she was having an internal crisis at the moment. This is what lead me to where I am now on the roof of the school….alone….with Asakura….looking at the huge dome that had engulfed nearly half the city that no one but weirdoes like myself seemed to see. Asakura never dropped her smile as she watched the dome, as for myself….I am sure I looked like I usually do when I was presented with the usual world ending crisis.**

"This is all your fault you know, if you hadn't made up that story about us having some kind of secret relationship this wouldn't be happening right now."

Asakura tilts her head to the side. "Oh? I thought it was a great idea Ms. Suzumiya's reaction was just what I hoped it would be. And something truly amazing happened."

It took Kyon a moment but her words hit him hard when he realized what she said.

"Hold on! I thought that you were fixed, that your program or data or whatever was debugged?!"

Asakura gave Kyon a bright smile. "It was, but only the parts about killing you Kyon. I never said that I had given up on my desire to see Ms. Suzumiya cause an incident with her ability now did I?"

Kyon gave her a long hard look before he face palmed himself for not seeing that sooner. She had pulled a fast one on him and she was loving it.

"You….do you have any idea how much hell Haruhi is going to put me thru because of this!"

Asakura gives Kyon a bewildered look as if she didn't know what he was talking about.

"No I don't could you explain?"

**She can't be serious there is no way she can't know….right….please say I'm right.**

"To be honest I understand that Ms. Suzumiya would react strongly if another girl showed interest in you, or proved to be close to you in any way. This is what first founded my initial plan to kill you in order to get the strongest possible reaction out of her. The fact that you were no longer in her life promised the greatest results because of her attachment to you…however I don't understand the findings completely because they involve emotions, human emotions, something I don't have or understand. What is their role in the resulted outcome? Why do they so strongly influence the result of the outcome? Are they something I can touch? Something I can control? I have tried to manipulate the data of such things but….there doesn't seem to be any, so tell me Kyon why would Ms. Suzumiya react so strongly to me being close to you? In my original findings on such things I have always found that if a combination of strong emotions in subjects always yields interesting results but that is generally the case when emotions are involved. I can define and describe every one of those emotions….but I myself have never felt them so I don't understand how they factor in."

Kyon fixes Asakura with his trademark dead pan stare trying to determine whether or not she was pulling his leg again.

**She's not lying….she seems so hopeful and expectant but….I can't tell if this is something she has fabricated or planed as well I don't know what to do….is she…really the opportunity that I was told about….or am I her opportunity? You can never make it easy can you God?**

Kyon gives of a sigh and scratches the back of his head.

"Look I just…I just need some time to think alright, I mean you did just drop an atom bomb in a mine field, dealing with that alone will be troublesome. So just give me some time."

Asakura gives Kyon a sympathetic look.

"You don't trust me…that's understandable given what little history we share but I honestly speak the truth."

**Yeah and Haruhi doesn't poses god like power…oh wait she does doesn't she? (Insert obvious sarcasm here)**

Kyon was well on his way to making a snarky remark but was halted when Asakura brought a finger to his lips to hush him.

"Now Kyon can you honestly say that I have ever lied to you…you now know what I truly am, me, miss Nagato , and miss Kimidori there is no reason for any of us to lie to you…unless our orders stated otherwise of course."

**Well…I can't say you have lied to, me remember that time you said you were going to kill me? I really believed you when you came at me with a combat knife. And how do I know you are not being ordered to lie to me right now?**

Asakure steps away from Kyon, puts her hands behind her back and speaks with her back to him.

"But that is something you will never be able to know now is it, being a human and all."

**Bitch.**

Asakura turns and gives Kyon a wink. "Well then I eagerly await your response Kyon"

She starts walking to the roof exit leaving Kyon to stare at her ass while she walks away. He mentally slapped himself for that before turning back to the dome that engulfed the city.

**No doubt** **Koizumi was have a blast in there, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't come to school tomorrow for fear of passing out…However that would mean I would half to face Haruhi alone tomorrow without him as a convenient distraction (I think he might like that) I guess I will half to hope and pray that my bulletproof vest (named Koizumi) is feeling up to the task tomorrow.**

Kyon gave a long sigh before looking up in the hopes that god would cut him a break….but much to his surprise.

"….why are those birds not moving?"

The birds above Kyon were frozen mid flight, looking down he could see that what people and students were still on campus were also frozen in place, he then turned around and saw that Asakura was also frozen midstride walking to the exit, now officially freaked out Kyon looked at his watch, it wasn't moving.

"What is going on here?!"

Kyon couldn't take much more insanity today and he was now demanding an answer for this bullshit, which came from a muffled voice from the other side of the roofs exit door.

"Calm down Kyon I would think you would be use to things like this by now."

Completely caught by surprise Kyon turned to the door as it opened reveling a guy wearing the same school uniform as Kyon about a head shorter than him, he had a school bag on his shoulder, and looked to be playing a PSP. One thing was for sure thou; Kyon had never seen this guy before.

"Who are you? And please before you answer don't say anything if you are an alien, esper, or time traveler my sanity or what little I have left couldn't take it."

The new guy just gives Kyon an amused look.

"Kyon it's me….god….I'm just using a different body."

Kyon gives a dejected look.

**Are you here to smite me because that would really help right about now?**

"No I am not going to smite you so you can get that thought out of your head."

"Stop reading my mind what goes on in there is private."

"Not to me it isn't."

While still playing away on the PSP God made his way to the roof fence.

"When I saw this form over the city I didn't think it would be this big. (sigh) that girl…honestly if she doesn't act, or give you a reason to act does she really think you won't seek out other girls….I knew I should have dove deeper on the sin of vanity when I had the chance. Up in till now she thought that her looks were all she needed but now."

Kyon gave god a sideways look.

"I take it that you know what happened?

"Every single detail Ms. Asakura has some spunk to do something that wreck less so willingly."

Kyon sent his best death glare to Asakura's frozen form.

"Spunk is not the word I would use."

"I know, some of the words you are thinking right now, I wouldn't recommend using…ever…Oh look at that I died."

"You playing a game?...isn't that a cheat code in its self?"

God gives a light chuckle as he turns to Kyon.

"I don't cheat Kyon I am always fair in my dealings whatever they may be."

"So why are you here I thought you said we wouldn't be meeting again."

"I said if you were lucky we wouldn't be meeting again until your time was up…you weren't so lucky today."

God said this with a smirk as his hand motioned to the dome over the city.

"Yeah that's right rub it in this is partly your fault you know, it is your power that is causing all of this."

"I know and I am going to rectify the situation. But first I wanted the chance to see my new Eve with my own eyes up close."

God puts the PSP in his bag while he walks over to Asakura and begins to look her up and down.

**Is he checking her out?**

"My, my she is quite the work of art is she not?"

**Yeah he's checking her out.**

"Physically attractive, strong body foundation, somewhat mentally stable but that can be fixed with time, excellent hips….But can one of her kind give birth? Let alone survive it."

**Wai…wha…whe…hu?!**

Kyon did not like where this was going not at all, and was about to put a stop to it right now.

"Whoa hold on here what's all this talk now, I didn't sign up for anything like that what exactly do you expect me to teach her!"

God just gave Kyon an amused look as he pated Asakura's head.

"Oh don't mind me I was just talking to myself is all, but it sounds like you have already figured out that she is the opportunity I was talking about."

Kyon looked a little uneasy at that statement as he looked at Asakura.

"Well yeah I did but I am still a little divided on what I am supposed to do. I mean part of me is saying do it and take back your free will, but the other parts are screaming prolong your life and stay as far away from her as possible."

God gives a slight nod at Kyon's answer.

"Maybe I can put your worry's at ease, everything she has told you is true she truly no longer means you any harm and she really wants to learn from you, but as I have said before the choice is yours whether you do this or not."

Kyon thought for a moment, he knew that God wasn't lying to him that wasn't possible from what he knew.

"Well I don't want you to be knocked off your throne because of me, but it is kind of hard to forgive someone who ruthlessly tried to kill you."

"Forgiving is hard Kyon, but that is what makes those who do better people…and I can assure you that things between the two of you won't go back to the way they were."

Kyon gives god an are you kidding look.

"You would make such a lose promise?"

"Yes because I know that it will be kept, I wouldn't do so otherwise."

Kyon could do nothing but give a defeated sigh the only thing he could do was give it a shot and hope he didn't die in the process.

"Alright I get it I will give it a shot. But the moment she comes after me with a knife I'm out."

"Ha ha very well that is all I could ask you to-"

God could not finish his sentence his attention was caught by forming dark clouds and the roar of thunder in the distance they didn't seem to be affected by the current time frieze. God just looked up and gave a knowing smile.

"Your impatient as always it would seem…don't worry I am wrapping things up right now."

The clouds began to disperse as the sky returned to normal. Kyon didn't know what just happened but it felt like two great forces were about to clash.

"What was that…or who was that?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with Kyon, my presence here is causing some of the gods in charge of this region to become a little…uneasy."

**You call what happened just now uneasy that felt more like a genuine threat!**

"I thought you and the other Gods of the world have an understanding?"

"We do but like any worried parent they don't like it when the adult next door comes into their back yard to play with their kids."

**Yeah…that wasn't a creepy comparison.**

"I need to go now but I wish you the best of luck….and Kyon one more thing."

Just as God was about to shut the door behind him he looked back at Kyon with a knowing look on his face.

"Tomorrow you will be faced with two choices, and no matter what anyone tells you…it is in your best interest to take a stand and do what you want to do. For the first step in taking back your free will is to not let others think for you…so just tell her…no."

With that last word the door closed and god was gone, leaving Kyon to his thoughts.

**A choice? Just tell her no? her? Again he leaves me with more questions than answers. But that is just how it goes; I guess we mere mortals are not meant to understand the game of the god's**

Before Kyon realized it time had started moving again and Asakura was once again moving toward the door.

**Well if I am going to do this, there is no time like the present.**

"Asakura wait a moment."

Just as she put her hand on the door she to meet Kyon's gaze.

"Yes Kyon what is it?"

"…sigh…just what is it you want to learn exactly?"

Kyon's Room Later That Night

After Kyon got home he finished his homework, and made dinnerfor him and his sister his parents were off on another work related trip and he was in charge of the house…again. But now that he had some free time to himself he was quite surprised to see that Koizumi had called him. So he decided to see what he wanted so he sat down at his desk and dialed his number.

"_Hello Koizumi here"_

"What took you so long to answer esper boy, are you doodling on my photo in that top secret file you have on me?"

"…_.no"_

"Liar, but putting that aside you called me some time ago what did you need?"

"_Yeah I just got finished with that closed space problem a little while ago; I didn't think we were going to make it there for a moment. The shinjin just kept coming but then…"_

"But then?"

"_They just disappeared along with the closed space, something like that has never happened before so we checked on Ms. Suzumiya and there was nothing out of the ordinary, I mean she is still plenty angry but for her to be angry and there be no closed space is…unsettling to say the least."_

As Koizumi explained what had happened in closed space Kyon's thoughts drifted to the image of an old homeless man and a nameless boy in his school.

**Could this have been his doing? Is this what he meant by rectify the situation? To stop it completely…hu the power of God…scary.**

"_Kyon? Are you still there?"_

"Hu… oh yeah I was just thinking about what you said, it sure is strange."

"_Very, but that is not why I called you I just wanted to confirm something with you."_

**Oh boy here we go.**

"The answer is no, none of it was true, she just made it up to get a rise out of Haruhi is all. Asakura and I do not have a secret relationship."

"_I see…so my assumption was right on the mark."_

"Care to share your thoughts with those of us who are not members of the magical Esper boy's group?"

"_Oh sorry it's just today was the first time I have actually meet Ms. Asakura. I have heard rumors about her but I never thought I would see both of her personalities in one day, she truly is a terrifying individual it makes you wonder what The D.T.E (data thought entity) was thinking when it created her."_

**Probably somewhere along the lines of, how do I create the perfect combination of beautiful and crazy in one go.**

"Maybe he was having an off day."

"_Let's hope that was all but anyway…I know this technically wasn't your fault but you know Ms. Suzumiya thinks it is, so tomorrow let's just try not to make her angrier than she already is I don't think I can take another night like tonight."_

"Yeah I got it….but for the record you are going to school tomorrow aren't you?"

"_Hu?...yes why do you ask?"_

"Um…no reason just wondering."

"…_.your planning on using me as meat shield tomorrow aren't you?"_

**Dame he got me, well there is only one thing to do now.**

"….no"

"_Now you're lying."_

**Dame you, you smiling esper bastard.**

"Go make a contract with a magical talking animal!"

"_You need to stop watching anime you're starting to say strange things."_

(Click)

Kyon hung up he was tired, too tired and the past couple of days were not helping. So he climbed into bed and in the hopes that tomorrow wouldn't be as bad as he thought it was going to be.

(VERRR….VERRR…VERRR)

Kyon's phone was vibrating, someone sent him a text. So he grabbed his phone and looked.

**A text from…Ms. **Tsuruya**? What does she want?**

Kyon opens the text.

OMG OMG OMG is it true are u and Asakura in a

Secret relationship are you both going to runaway and

Get married? Is she pregnant with your child? Do you make

Her call you master? Or do you call her master ROFLOL

This is big news Kyon you dog you not only do you have

Mikuru and little Yuki in your back pocket but now you

Got the most popular girl in school too who's next me?

JK LOL LOL you got your own little harem going now

Don't you mister player but don't you worry ill spread

The word and let the whole school know that Asakura

Is yours (as well as Mikuru and Yuki) if there is any one

Else let me know okay. LOL ROFLOL XOXOXOXO

After reading the text massage Kyon suddenly found that he didn't want to go to school tomorrow.

The next day in front of the school gates

**And yet here I am…well what now Kyon you're the one who wanted to man up and come to school.**

Kyon looked around at the court yard at all the students conversing with each other.

**Well maybe she was joking, I mean even if she wasn't there is no way that she can spread the word of such a crazy rumor that quickly.**

With confidence in his theory Kyon stepped on to school grounds…but the moment he did all eyes were on him and all was silent.

**Then again…maybe I am underestimating just how fast that girl can talk.**

While Kyon did his best to hide his face from any one that he passed on his way to the main building and in the halls while he walked to his classroom he was unaware of the ambush that awaited him there the moment he walked in.

"KYON YOU BASTARD!" (CRASH)

Taniguchi had jumped Kyon the moment he entered the classroom and the two were at the back of the room tearing at each other on the floor.

"Taniguchi what the hell, get off of me!"

"I heard what you did to her you bastard how you defiled my pure and innocent Ryoko. I am going to avenge her honor!"

"What the hell are you going on about you moron!"

"She's a triple A+ you don't deserve a goddess like her, and yet you did all those dirty **things** to her, all those dirty deviant **things**, and I also heard you did **that** to her too you sick bastard!"

"Listen ass hat I don't know what kind of pervert you think I am but I never touched her! And by the way your nose bleeding."

Kunikida who had been watching the whole time looked to the other guys who were watching…they too had nose bleeds some were even crying or on the verge of crying.

While Kyon and Taniguchi had each other in a headlock the door to the class opened revealing an angry Ryoko Asakura and a mob of angry girls behind her.

"Kyon, Taniguchi!"

Both boys stop and look at Ryoko while still maintaining their headlock positions.

"Both of you…assume the position now."

Neither one of them was willing to invoke her wrath so they did as they were told and sat in kneeling positions. Where they both received quite a scolding from her, which consisted of her marching back and forward in front of them while waging her finger in the air to point out the reasons why there was no rough housing in the classroom. Kyon looked like he wanted to be anywhere but where he currently was, Taniguchi however seemed to be enjoying his scolding a little too much hell the goofball was drooling.

"Now I want the both of you to reflect on what you have done understood."

"Yes Asakura"

**For about five seconds then I will just look out the window.**

"Yes lady Asakura I will work hard to mend my ways!"

**I am positive he will jump out the window if you ask him too.**

"Very well you both may rise."

Kyon and Taniguchi stood up and begin to fix themselves.

"Oh Kyon let me help you with that."

Before Kyon could protest Asakura had started to fix his blazer and tie then started trying to put his hair back into place. This earned him a death glare from every guy in the room with the exception of Kunikida who just put his hand on Taniguchi's shoulder to try to keep him from jumping Kyon again. The girls in the class just swooned as they saw this gesture as romantic. Kyon found it nerve racking so he tried to ask Asakura why she was doing this under his breath.

"What are you doing are you trying to get me killed?"

Asakura looked really confused.

"What do you mean; when I got to school every one started asking me questions about us. They looked so hopeful so I just decided to play along, that's all."

**Play along she says, you really are a robot that doesn't know what to do with the knowledge in your own head. You might as well give a child a pistol and hope nothing bad happens.**

"By the way Kyon I have a question?"

"Hu? What is it?"

"Well I was asked a strange question by a female student from another class she had heard a rumor that we… (Whispering)…"

Kyon's face grew bright red at what she just told him.

"What did you tell her?!"

"I told her I didn't know what that was. I mean my knowledge on sexual activities is extensive but I have never heard of that before"

**Dame if these perves ask her questions she is not naturally prepared to answer in every day events she becomes a natural air head I need to fix this and quick.**

"Listen Asakura if anyone asks you if we have done anything sexual you tell them no especially if they ask you if we did…that."

"But what is it?"

"Ill tell you when you're older…maybe."

**Which is code for NEVER!**

"Well okay but I think the class may find it hard to believe."

Asakura gestured to the class the girls were all a blush, while the guys had made a giant cuddle puddle on the floor in their own blood they were all giving a thumbs up, Taniguchi was on top, Kunikida was off to the side just shaking his head. Then it dawned on Kyon that had said all of that out loud.

"Well…it could be worse…Haruhi could be here."

Asakura took this time to tap Kyon on the shoulder and point toward the windows where none other than Haruhi was sitting in her desk gazing out the window but with an obvious aura of darkness radiating off of her. Kyon in all his grief face palmed and looked up.

**Is it a slow day today or is torturing me becoming a past time up there!**

Asakura being the big help that she is just laughed nervously.

**Today is proving to be a very educational day for me, as I spent my classes trying to pay attention to the lessons I learned that Haruhi's soul crushing gaze can be felt even with my back turned, I also learned where I stood in desirability to my female classmates apparently I was a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10, 5 being average so I was slightly above. But hearing those girls ask Asakura in between classes why she a girl they described as a perfect 10, was interested in a barely above average guy like me. Was really pissing me off for some reason…I mean we weren't dating but thanks to a certain loudmouth, hyperactive girl, everyone thinks we are. Hell we were all anyone was talking about…we were on the front page of the school paper for crying out loud, how did that happen in one night. The girl every guy wanted, and who every girl wanted to be like. Is dating the guy who is nothing special, and not really much to look at….oh and he is a member of the SOS Brigade, that one was the kicker for some people but then lunch came around and I was once again eating it with Taniguchi and Kunikida.**

"Man this is so not fair why did Asakura pick a guy like you…I mean what do you got that I don't got?"

Taniguchi was complaining again it was making it hard for Kyon to enjoy his lunch.

"There are so many things I can say right now but I will just stick with a simple response…I don't reek of desperation."

"Bite me Kyon I am being serious, I mean you and the Ryoko Asakura an item. Dame man it's like a bad dream, what gives did you save her from a burning building or something?

Kyon just rolled his eyes and repeated what he had been telling people all morning.

"For the hundredth time we are not an item, this is all just a huge rumor gone horribly wrong."

Kunikida took this moment to put his two cents in.

"I don't know Kyon, you may deny it but she's not exactly saying it's not true. Are you sure you're not just embarrassed?"

"Not you too I'm telling you both its not true it's just a rumor that's all."

Kunikida just shrugged his shoulders at Taniguchi who then pointed at Kyon with his chopsticks

"Look Kyon I don't think you understand just what kind of miracle just donkey punched you in the back of the head. Even if it is not true Ms. Asakura doesn't seem to mind at all. I say take advantage of it while you can nobody expects you guys to last anyways, we all just see it as one of those high school flings that last for a few months till things go stale and one or both of you call it off. I mean really an angel like her is just way out of your league, she's too good for you."

**Boy if you guys only knew, thinks for the vote of confidence by the way you guys are the best friends a guy could ask for.**

"I get it already she's royalty and I am commoner trash it could never work. But here's a thought why don't you ask her what she thinks about all this."

Again Kunikida speaks.

"We have but she is not giving anyone a straight answer, it's like she's just stringing every one along in this whole thing. Like she is having a good time keeping everyone in the dark, it's kind of frustrating."

**Yep that sounds like her, stringing people along only to let them down so she can see their reactions. That or she really doesn't know how to answer their questions. But I am going to stick with the old she's a Troll response….because in fact she is.**

"Take the opportunity Kyon, with as many guys that have confessed to her, all of which by the way were much better suitors than you. And she turned every one of them down with no hesitation ether. In fact the only time she has ever shown an interest in a guy was when she asked you to be her go between for Ms. Suzumiya….Oh my God is that when it happened for you two."

Kyon was getting a little annoyed with Taniguchi now.

"Easy Doctor No love, I just told you several times that it's all a lie….Other guys have confessed to her? I always thought other guys considered her unapproachable or something."

Taniguchi nodded sagely.

"Most do but there have been several brave souls that have tried. Well to do guys, handsome guys, tough rugged guys, all of them way better for her than you and she turned them all down."

"Why do I get the feeling that you are included in that group of guys that are supposedly better than me."

"Please Kyon I never confessed to her, I'm not that stupid."

Kyon Tuned to Kunikida who secretly held up three fingers to Kyon.

**I guess the third time didn't prove to be your charm now did it Taniguchi?**

Kyon finished off his lunch and continued to chat with his "friends" if you want to call them that. Until Asakura walked up to him, her ever so gentle disposition plastered on her face.

"Kyon, could I borrow you for a moment?"

"Oh um…sure."

Ignoring a grunt from Taniguchi Kyon rose from his seat and followed Asakura out of the class room and into a stairwell for some privacy.

"I'm sorry to call you out like this but there are a few things I wanted to ask concerning the rumors going around school."

"Its fine Ill find a way to put this whole thing to rest later I already know who started all of this."

Asakura paused a moment before speaking again.

"Actually…I think it might be a good idea."

"…think what might be a good idea?"

**Please don't let it be what I think it is.**

"This rumor about you and me….let's make it reality."

**Why do I even bother?**

"Wait, hold on just what about this is a good idea?"

"Well the whole school already thinks were an item, and according to my information an item is a couple in a romantic relationship, and couple's spend lots of time together. It's the perfect cover if you are going to teach me about this world we will be spending lots of time together. At some point we would be drawing attention at least this way we won't be so suspicious because people will be expecting us to be together."

**Her point….is valid but still!**

"Look Asakura I see where you are getting at but there is a certain way a couple is expected to act, and address, and behave around one another. It requires feelings and emotions….you know those things that you don't have.

At Kyon's words Asakura crossed her arms under her bust and puffed up her cheeks in a pout.

"Well that was mean it's not like I am completely unfeeling…stupid Kyon."

"Stop trying to be cute, that doesn't work on me."

**Dame that's super cute!**

"I am not trying to be cute you really hurt my feelings, you make it sound like I am some heartless monster, humph."

Asakura jerks her head away from Kyon.

**Super cute!**

"Okay, okay I'm sorry but this could cause problems, Haruhi's already angry enough as it is I don't want to make things worse. And pretending we are a couple will definitely cause problems."

**And by problems I mean if she wishes everything to disappear…it more than likely will.**

Asakura was looking at Kyon from the corner of her eye, for a moment she didn't move, but then a sly smile came to her lips and she slowly begin to make her way toward Kyon.

"Hay what's with that look? Stop…what are doing?"

Kyon was backing up trying to get his distance but quickly ran out of room when he hit the wall Asakura however continued to advance on him.

**Dame I knew it she's going to kill me, she looks like a lioness stalking her pray….but with the way she looks I would be really turned on right now if I weren't scared shitless.**

Asakura now pressed herself against Kyon her chest pressed just slightly below his own; she then ran her hands up his chest and locked them behind his neck as she pulled him down closer to her. Her breath was tickling his ear as she teased his earlobe with her lips.

**This must be that space between moments where you don't know if you should be happy as hell, or scared shitless….I'm treading a thin line here!**

Asakura when whispers in to Kyon's ear with the sweetest honey covered voice she could muster.

"Well…then I guess…we have to do our best…too make sure she doesn't find out…ne Kyon-kun?"

**Unsexy thoughts!,** **Unsexy thoughts!, Unsexy thoughts!, Unsexy thoughts! ….it's not working!**

Kyon's face was red as a tomato but just when his mind was beginning to enjoy being in the gutter, Asakura pulled away from him and beamed him with her trademark smile.

"See I can pretend to a lover so will be okay."

**(Crash!)…that was the sound of reality crushing my fantasy.**

The look on Kyon's face was worth a thousand anti-drug commercials. But then his anger kicked in.

"Okay you and I are going to half to set down a few ground rules!"

"Kyaaaa! Kyon's mad; please don't punish me I'll be a good girl."

"Stop that someone will here you!"

**After that the rest of the day went by rather uneventfully I later found out that Ms. Tsuruya had learned about the alleged "secret relationship" from Ms. Asahina who apologized to me for it because she had told her loud mouth friend that little story believing she would keep it a secret. (Honestly what did she think was going to happen?) But other than that nothing special happened….that is until I got to the brigade room. I was evidently the last one to arrive Haruhi had everyone else standing neatly beside her as she sat at her leaders desk looking right at me as I sat opposite her. The atmosphere was heavy and everyone had their heads down…well besides Nagato she just seemed to be looking between me and Haruhi…geez I feel like the kid who got caught stealing from the cookie jar.**

"Kyon…Today we are going to talk about your future in the SOS Brigade."

"Are we…I could have swore this was an intervention."

"Don't be stupid Kyon you broke one of the rules now we will determine whether or not you are fit to continue being a brigade member"

**And by we I'm sure you mean you.**

"We have rules?...when did that happen?"

Haruhi slams her hands down on her desk and stands up.

"There are to be no relationships of any kind within or outside of the club! That is the rule you broke!"

**I think I made her mad.**

"That was never a rule, what kind of rule is that any way?"

Haruhi crosses her arms and looks down at Kyon.

"It was just made one, relationships only distract from Brigade activity's there for they are forbidden.

"Well that's a rather pointless rule."

"Shut up I'm the brigade leader and as long as I'm in charge you will do what I tell you to do!"

**A tantrum…really?**

"Okay I get it what do I got to do pay off this terrible crime?"

"Well that's an easy one, you're going to break off the relationship, and never speak to her again."

…**.what now?**

"Break off the relationship? Never talk to her again? Hang on Asakura and I are…um..er…really good friends and were in the same class. I mean how is she going to feel….she did say that she came all the way back from Canada just to see me, it would be like throwing that back in her face."

"That's not my problem If she can't handle rejection then she should have never come back."

**Oh yeah like your one to talk miss "if the world doesn't revolve around me I'll blow it up" are you even listening to yourself?**

"You can't honestly expect me to do that to her? I mean what if it where you? How would you feel?"

"I would take it like a woman and just except the facts; it's really no big deal."

**No you wouldn't you would scream and cry and yell until you got your way.**

"Haruhi your not being reasonable your-"

"Shut Up!"

Haruhi's anger was reaching an all time high, her breathing was labored and a bead of sweat was rolling down the side of her face.

"You have a choice to make Kyon. Its ether her, or the brigade, so what's it going to be?"

Kyon was distraught he didn't know what to do, he looked to the other brigade members none of them looked up (besides Yuki) it was as if they already resigned themselves to their fates.

**Just play along and give her what she wants hu? The relationship isn't even real but…the fact that she thinks she can tell me who I can speak too as if she has the final say in my life this…this isn't right. She can't do this…but if I don't than the world will…dame it…I like the brigade but this is not how life is suppose to be. If I had known this was going to happen I never would have changed the world back when Nagato recreated it. But now….what choice do I…**_you will be faced with two choices_**...hu?...**_the first step in taking back your free will is to not let others think for you_**…that's right your watching aren't you? So this is it hu…this is the turning point, this is where it begins…**_So just tell her_**…Okay let's do this.**

Kyon stood up and looked Haruhi right in the eye.

"NO!"

The other brigade members for the first time scenes he walked in were looking at him with wide eyes, Haruhi herself couldn't believe what she heard she was so dumbfounded she couldn't speak.

"You don't have any right to tell me who I can and cannot talk to you don't control or own me and you never will Haruhi. And if you don't like that then I don't give a dame, and you don't half to worry about kicking me out of the brigade because I quit! I no longer want to be someone you think you can do anything with as you see fit."

With those words Kyon got up and left leaving the dumbfounded brigade members and a motionless Nagato.

"_So Kyon…how do you feel?..."_

While making his way out of the building Kyon heard a voice in his head knowing full well who it was he looked up and smiled.

**I feel great.**

A/N: well there you have it the third chapter but quite honestly I am stumped on one thing that you guys could help me on. Just how the teaching sessions going to go for Kyon and Ryoko, any suggestions?

You know besides the obvious, I swear every one of you are perves….and I love all of you for it.


End file.
